Greyscale

The first thing I saw as my eyelids fluttered open was blue. I'd never seen the sky so blue, I had gotten used to it's rolling grey clouds, it's bright flashes of lightning and roar of thunder. But the sky was quiet, and so perfectly blue it was surreal. I tried to recall the last time I'd seen the colour above. It was years ago, I was at home, surrounded by my loved ones. Then the clear skies turned to ash and the world turned upside down. There was no sunlight, no trees or flowers. I think the thing I missed the most wasn't my loved ones, but the trees. The beautiful deep greens of summer, slowly turning from orange to brown when the year grew colder. You were lucky to see a living tree these days, all that was left of the breathtaking forests and woodland was a sea of ash, pieces of grey matter floating in the non-existent breeze. If you squinted you could pretend they were leaves...

It started off as a war between countries. Flashes of white and blue flags buried underneath the blood of their fallen soldiers. Soldiers perished and soon everyone forgot how it even started. All there was was blood and tragedy and destruction, even the red poppies on the mourning's lapel couldn't brighten the day. The ash began travelling from the ground to the air, filling it with thick clouds of death, that spilled into even the smallest of places. 

The years rolled on, as did the war, sucking the colour from the once beautiful world, people started calling it Armageddon. I didn't call it that. For it wasn't an apocalypse; it didn't involve aliens or zombies taking over the world, it was our own fault, our own doing. 

My family and friends had all died off, leaving me alone in this crumbling world. I tried to travel, to go to an island that wasn't affected by the destruction, but after a year I gave up, for everyone was affected by it. I met people along the way, some still filled with hope and light in their eyes, others were empty shells, like the world had sucked the colour out of them. Their once pink skin had turned grey and the colour of their eyes matched it. They had given up on life, praying for disease or bombshells to take them to a better life. Some even still believed in God, but how could they trust in him when he did this to us. Or us to him. The ones that still believed said that the free will he had given us we grossly mistreated, and for once I agreed with them. I wasn't religious, I didn't believe that there was a higher power that could save me. I had to save myself. And I did.

After a while, the authorities didn't care what gender their soldiers were, just that they were healthy enough to hold a gun. I joined them. The pitiful men and women who thought there was still a world worth fighting for. I guess I still did too.

But now, as I lay here, the screams of my fallen allies faded to a low hum, and the world seemed to stop for a moment. Just one moment, to show me the colour I had been dreaming about, just for a second, so that I may finally die in peace.



Author's note: I published this on my secondary blog but I am moving all of the posts to this blog. ^^

Souls

I sighed, glancing down at the worn leather watch wrapped around my wrist, 10:54PM. It was almost time. As I perched on top of the high stone wall I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the tried story window beside me. So I was a male this time, interesting. I wasn't bad looking either; I had soft black hair that fell to my jaw and bright blue eyes with cheekbones that could cut you. This guys got taste, I thought. Talking of the man in question, the room behind the window I was looking into burst into light. I watched a tall, thin man stumble in, shrugging off his coat and leaving it piled on the wooden flooring. The room itself was basic, with simple furniture that hardly looked lived on. I flipped through the folder of documents in my lap. Ah, so that was why. This man - Archie Leaffeld, his name was- was always at his long-term boyfriends residence. The blond before me slumped into the bathroom adjacent to the visible room and I could hear the faint splash of water in the bath. One last glance at my watch told me it was time to make an appearance. I easily hopped off the wall and onto the balcony that belonged to Archie. Sliding the door open, I walked through the room to the bathroom door. I cleared my throat and looked down at the documents in my hand.
"Archie Leaffeld. Time of death: 11:02PM on Saturday, 17th of July. Cause of death: Suicide." I looked up to see the man in question staring at me with wide eyes.
"Wh-Wh-Who are you?" He spluttered, the only sound in the silence that followed was the bath slowly filling with hot water.
"I am here to escort you into the beyond."
"Did you just say I was going to die?!"
I internally rolled my eyes. "Yes."
Archie started shaking, wrapping his arms across his chest for protection. "I...I want to die, but I didn't know I'd actually do it this time"
I frowned, surprised that this man had accepted my presence to easily. Then it hit me. "This isn't the first time someone like me has appeared to you, isn't it."
Archie shook his head, closing his eyes as tears threatened to escape from them. "H-He...He used me....2 years and he used me. He never loved me."
I tried to act like I was listening.
"That's....unfortunate."
The other man's head suddenly shot up, fire in his eyes. "I loved him!" He almost shouted, his whole body shaking now, "And he used me! I can't do this anymore."
I felt something move inside me. This man had so much passion inside of him, it was almost a shame he was going to die soon. In four minutes, in fact.
"Well, there is always a loophole with suicides. I cannot do anything if you decide to live." 
Archie put his hands over his eyes, sinking down to sit on the edge of the bathtub. "I have nothing to live for anymore" His voice was weak, but still full of passion. I sighed and sat down next to him.
"Sure you do-"
"How would you know" His response was almost immediate. I raised my eyebrows and leant forward, my elbows resting on my knees.

"I don't know how much you know about us, but we were once human. We are all souls that have died one way or another. And, although none of us can remember being human, we can still feel sympathy for your kind. I have seen countless people die, some were accidents, some were not, but I could tell that everyone had something to live for. Every single one had passion in them, and every single one would rather live in a world without their passion than know what happens after death"
"What does happen after death?"
I smirked, glancing sideways at the man who was staring curiously at me. "I can't tell you that"
"Why not?"
"I don't know"
"You what?"
"I only know what happens between death and the afterlife, because it's my job to ferry souls. I don't need to know what happens afterwards"

Archie looked down at his clasped hands between his legs. "Do you think it's good? The afterlife?"

I thought for a moment, "My opinion is that you have the choice to live your life on earth the way you want and then get a new chance in the afterlife. Make your life worth living."

The man next to me nodded, "Yeah, I suppose so...you really think I have something worth living for?"

"I believe everyone has" I checked my watch, "You have two minutes to decide"

Archie tensed, "Oh god..." He breathed. "I never thought I'd have to make this choice, I was so set up to do it when I came home, but now..."

"If you chose not to, you won't remember me. Or any of this" I commented, making him look up at me. 

"But you...you're the most understanding." I frowned, I really wasn't. I was just doing my job. But I kept quiet, whatever floats his boat I suppose. "What if I want to remember you? Remember that there is actually an afterlife, a reason to live?"

I shrugged slightly, "It's the rules I have to live by. No human is allowed to remember us"

"That must get terribly lonely"

I lowered my eyes, "It really does"

I felt a weight on my leg and looked sideways to see Archie's hand. I raised my eyes to his; they were sad, but not for him, for me. I felt something move inside me, no one had ever considered my emotions, not in this job, we were meant to be distanced from humans to stop us getting attached and not do our jobs correctly. 

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I shook my head, "There's nothing to tell. We are beings purely made to ferry souls to the other side. Nothing else."

"That's shit. Everyone deserves a life of their own"

I let his words sink in. Was that true? Were we allowed to have a life? Apparently, my silence became my answer because Archie's hand began to gently rub my knee. 

"One minute" My quiet voice interrupted the silence. 

"I want to stay" Archie replied in an even softer voice. "But only on one condition"

I raised an eyebrow and looked sideways, "Which is?"

"You don't erase my memory"

"I have to-"

"No you don't"

I narrowed my eyes at him, "You're very stubborn, aren't you"

"I've been told that before, yeah"

That made me smile, "...Fine, you'll be able to remember this. I'll make an exception" I don't know why I said it, but the thought of one person being able to remember me made me feel happy. 

Archie's face lit up, "Really?" He asked.

"Yeah."

"Then I have another condition"

I rolled my eyes, "What now?"

"I get to see you again" 

I stopped, he...wanted to see me again? "Why?" I asked before I could stop myself.

"Because." He smiled and I found myself smiling back, "You saved me. And you need to have a life of your own"

I smirked, liking the idea regardless of the consequences. "I will when I have the time"

I was beginning to love Archie's smile. "Good."

"I need to go." I said, seeing the typing on my documents fade to blank sheets of paper. I looked up again to see Archie's face has fallen. "I have a job to do, you know"

"At least let me know your name before you go"

"I don't have one"

Archie's face was laughable. "What?!"

"Because my appearance and gender changes every time I ferry a soul, I don't have a fixed name"

"Then what was your name when you were human?"

"I don't remember"

Archie scrunched up his nose in thought, "Then, how about James?"

James...It was simple, but the fact that Archie had picked it made me fall in love with it. "I like it"

"Alright then, James, I'll see you next time"

I stood, brushing myself off as Archie followed suit, "Yeah-" I was cut off as Archie pulled me I to a hug. In this appearance, I was shorter than the other man, the top of my forehead coming level to his eyes. After Archie clearly wasn't about to let go, I wrapped his own arms around his middle, hugging him back tightly.  

"Thank you" I heard him whisper. I smiled, pushing my face into the crook of his neck. "You're welcome"



Author's note: I published this on my secondary blog but I am moving all of the posts to this blog. ^^